Things I’ve Learned by Erin Mullens
When it’s hot outside, wear extra deodorant
And a hat so your eyes don’t get sore from squinting
Set a timer to reapply your sunscreen
And drink lots of Diet Coke if you hate water.
Puppies are cute, but they never leave you alone
And art schools are full of people doing drugs.
Going to Korea and living out a K-drama sounds fun
Until you realize you have no idea what you are doing.
Sometimes, it’s ok to tell your friends they are stupid.
They need to hear it. And you need to see it.
Late at night, while crying over Taylor Swift
And wondering why you are such a bad student
Eating a giant bag of caramel M&Ms may seem
Like the answer to all your problems. It isn’t.
What you need is to sleep. And when you wake up
Eat something green and start studying.
If you’re packing, never forget to bring a nighttime eye patch
You never know if your vacation rental has a window
That lets the sun into your room at six o’clock in the morning.
If you’re buying a reusable water bottle, buy a plastic one
Because they’re lighter and won’t be so loud if you drop them.
If you’re feeling grumpy and hate everyone in your life
Please go for a walk. See the sun. Touch some grass.
Don’t write off the loud, quirky girl from school
Who never seems to stop talking to you
She might appear annoying, but she’ll be a good friend
And you’ll learn to appreciate her humor and enthusiasm.
Don’t believe what you read in gossip magazines
Or on celebrity Reddits. None of it is true
And you’ll just look stupid if you repeat it.
If there is romantic tension between you and a friend
Don’t ignore it. You may think you’re ugly, and boring
But remember you’ve seen yourself projectile vomit
And heard every idiotic thought you’ve ever had.
They haven’t. Their image of you is undoubtedly much better
Which is why they are so deluded as to fall in love with you.
Most of all, never forget to make time to lie in the grass
And breathe in the scent of the flowers that tickle your head.
The world is as beautiful as it is terrible, and there will always
Be something to make you smile, if you can find it.
Never forget, as the sun comes and goes, and the seasons change
That your heart will never change. You may shift and adapt
But the foundation within you will never break. You are always you.
Above all, that is the most important thing I have learned.
If you want to live well, find the compass inside of you.
As long as you follow it, you’ll turn out ok.
“I feel that Things I’ve Learned features too many mundane details, and is a little too moralizing for it to have the sophistication and nuance that distinguishes good poetry.”
Erin Mullens (she/her) is an American writer who currently lives in Seoul, South Korea. Her hobbies include reading, going to art museums, and hiking in the woods. She has previously been published in Cathartic Youth Literary magazine. You can follow her on Instagram at @moonchildisuhgood.