Fallacies of Youth by Erin Mullens
The clock hands look like sneers.
I draw little hearts on my friend’s hand.
I look back at my other friend.
I think he’s in love with me.
My teacher is droning on.
One of the key fallacies of youth
…
One of the key fallacies of youth
Is that there is such a thing as youth
A thing that can be grasped in the hand
Held and tugged and twisted
But it’s not, youth is a ghost
That you sacrifice to time
So you can find out who you are.
One of the key fallacies of youth
Is that it won’t hurt, that you’re invincible.
When I leave in a few months
I’m not going to miss my friends
Or my high school librarian
I sure as hell won’t miss
The spot in the corner of the hallway
Where I ran into my friend who’s in love with me
Doing homework with a frown.
One of the key fallacies of youth
Is that it doesn’t matter, it’s not important.
This is just some boring high school class
And tomorrow I’ll get out to the real world
Where I can finally make a difference.
Don’t you see? I want to scream at myself
Every lecture on Mao, every discussion of Kant,
Was every bit as important
As whatever bill Joe was signing
Up in the fancy mansion down the block
Every single time you screeched at your friend
Arguing about the best BTS song
Was as important as the electrical pulse
Of an AED, shocking someone’s heart awake.
One of the key fallacies of youth
Is that life can be beautiful
It never is. It’s just heartbreak
As you love and lose
And stay locked in the gravitational pull
That keeps you grounded
On your pathetic little planet.
But the biggest fallacy of youth
Is that you can ever be enough.
The biggest fallacy of youth
Is that you can be the bright shining star
If you strive and dream and try.
The biggest fallacy of youth
Is that dreams are for waking
And success is for the hardworking.
You’ll never be enough.
You’ll never be fully satisfied.
Someday you’ll look back and cry
Because you made so many mistakes
And you don’t know what to do with yourself.
But right now, I don’t know any of that.
I’m just holding my best friend’s hand
Glancing back at my love stricken friend
Capturing my History teacher’s last drones
My spinning hands weaving a core memory.
“Fallacies of Youth is a poem that I didn’t edit very much, so I feel like the thoughts contained in it are disorganized and sometimes ramble on. I also feel like the descriptions can sometimes be heavy-handed.”
Erin Mullens (she/her) is an American writer who currently lives in Seoul, South Korea. Her hobbies include reading, going to art museums, and hiking in the woods. She has previously been published in Cathartic Youth Literary magazine. You can follow her on Instagram at @moonchildisuhgood.