Fallacies of Youth by Erin Mullens

The clock hands look like sneers.

I draw little hearts on my friend’s hand.

I look back at my other friend.

I think he’s in love with me.

My teacher is droning on.

 

One of the key fallacies of youth

One of the key fallacies of youth

Is that there is such a thing as youth

A thing that can be grasped in the hand

Held and tugged and twisted

But it’s not, youth is a ghost

That you sacrifice to time

So you can find out who you are.

 

One of the key fallacies of youth

Is that it won’t hurt, that you’re invincible.

When I leave in a few months

I’m not going to miss my friends

Or my high school librarian

I sure as hell won’t miss

The spot in the corner of the hallway

Where I ran into my friend who’s in love with me

Doing homework with a frown.

 

One of the key fallacies of youth

Is that it doesn’t matter, it’s not important.

This is just some boring high school class

And tomorrow I’ll get out to the real world

Where I can finally make a difference.

 

Don’t you see? I want to scream at myself

Every lecture on Mao, every discussion of Kant,

Was every bit as important

As whatever bill Joe was signing

Up in the fancy mansion down the block

Every single time you screeched at your friend

Arguing about the best BTS song

Was as important as the electrical pulse

Of an AED, shocking someone’s heart awake.

 

One of the key fallacies of youth

Is that life can be beautiful

It never is. It’s just heartbreak

As you love and lose

And stay locked in the gravitational pull

That keeps you grounded

On your pathetic little planet.

 

But the biggest fallacy of youth

Is that you can ever be enough.

The biggest fallacy of youth

Is that you can be the bright shining star

If you strive and dream and try.

The biggest fallacy of youth

Is that dreams are for waking

And success is for the hardworking.

 

You’ll never be enough.

You’ll never be fully satisfied.

Someday you’ll look back and cry

Because you made so many mistakes

And you don’t know what to do with yourself.

 

But right now, I don’t know any of that.

I’m just holding my best friend’s hand

Glancing back at my love stricken friend

Capturing my History teacher’s last drones

My spinning hands weaving a core memory.


Fallacies of Youth is a poem that I didn’t edit very much, so I feel like the thoughts contained in it are disorganized and sometimes ramble on. I also feel like the descriptions can sometimes be heavy-handed.”

Erin Mullens (she/her) is an American writer who currently lives in Seoul, South Korea. Her hobbies include reading, going to art museums, and hiking in the woods. She has previously been published in Cathartic Youth Literary magazine. You can follow her on Instagram at @moonchildisuhgood.

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At The End of the Rainbow by Ellora Lawhorn

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Things I’ve Learned by Erin Mullens