Chiron in Leo by Louise Hurrell

2:00AM.

Stare at the sky

frantic, searching

through the constellations,

desperate to discover why I

am the way I am.

Chiron in Leo, the lion

‘s share of symptoms writ large

across my fate.

Untalented. Unable

to express yourself creatively.

Empty pages, death

white, paper mâché my fingers

to slick stumps, mummify my muscles,

stuff my mouth as I choke

on my words.

Fearful of: validation

                   criticism

                   adoration

How can I

not be? Unable.

Untalented.

Mute mouth, limp limbs,

a lump of solid mass floating

at the edge of nothingness

while the planets align, happy and light

years away.

I turn away from the stars,

and make a wish

to roar. 

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“I decided to trash ‘Chiron in Leo’ because I felt it never really fitted in anywhere. All of the magazines I looked into didn’t feel like a good home for the poem which in turn made me suspect the poem just wasn’t good at all. It’s also inspired by a night I was wide awake and looking through Astro.com (not a great idea!) and it felt quite silly as a premise so that also made me reluctant to publish it.”

Louise Hurrell (she/her) is a writer based in Scotland. Her work has appeared in Heartbalm Lit, Renesme Literary and The Voidspace among others. When not writing she can be found at her local indie cinema an trying/failing to learn photography. Come say hi on Twitter @LouiseHurrell