Two Poems about How You Look at Me by Samira Burnside
I think I should have been a Dog.
Me and Dogs actually share a lot of traits, including:
An endless, vacuous need for undeserved affection.
A desperate desire for unending attention.
An existence meant only to please.
I get so mad when I make you unhappy
I just want to be your good girl boy whatever you want me to be.
I don’t have to be a dog.
I could be a bee, I could make you honey all day.
I could be a bird, I could build you a nest of twigs and teeth.
I could be a person too.
If that would please you.
I’m starting to think I don’t exist when you’re not looking.
I’m starting to think I’m just a reflection of what people want me to be.
I’m starting to think I’m not free.
I’m starting to think.
Dog’s don’t do that.
Dogs don’t even know what a reflection is.
I think I should have been a dog.
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I’m so jealous of girls named Keith
With their short-cut hair and denim jackets.
The way they don’t adjust their jeans for hours each morning
The way they rock men and women’s clothes alike
The way they don’t stare at their stubble
The way they show you kindness when you least expect it
The way they don’t have to be so, so humble to be respected
The way they look pretty in any light
Made-up with makeup
Or not.
I hope one day we can meet
And you can show me all the ways
That you stand out
And I can tell you that it’s beautiful
And you can tell me I could be too
And I could smile a little
And I could pretend that I’m a girl named Keith for a moment
And I could dream that everyone would still look at me the same
Because it’d be you looking at me
I’m so jealous of you, Girls named Keith.
“I threw away these poems because they 1. Weren't that interesting in a literary sense. The rhymes were boring and it just wasn't that technically interesting. And 2. Because it just felt too personal, like nobody else would really get it. But hey, that's what trash to treasure lit is all about!”
Samira is a trans writer based in the Florida bay area. She focuses on writing the queer perspective and specializes in creative non-fiction. She enjoys community advocacy, writing and working with others. She does not enjoy writing about herself in third person.