Save Point by Steven Lister
Feet shuffle across the floor. The patterned slippers that had seen many years bring in the only colour for the room as he approaches the desk. He rests his stick on the floor while he stops at the desk to speak to the man who is sitting there, watching as he moves. The oak desk is wide and bare, with just a few sheets of paper neatly stacked in two piles with a pen on top of each. The figure was dressed in casual but smart clothes. Something about his clothing settles James from what was a worried, confused, state. A warm smile stretches across the figures face as he looks from his seat.
“Hello James.”
“Where am I?”
“It’s a difficult one to answer, but to put it in terms you should be able to answer, this is the save menu.”
“The what?”
“For your life. Do you remember what happened?”
“In my life?”
“Yes. But I was more meaning at the end.”
“The end? So I’m dead? Is this your way of telling me I died? Not a friendly way to put it. Could of at least offered me a drink!”
“Why? Do you need a drink without a body? There is no body, so no thirst will be quenched. Here your need for any drink is gone.”
...
“Do you remember playing those computer games and save points? Where you could pause and save your progress.”
“Yes...”
“Well this is your save point.”
“So I made it to the next level?”
“You have finished your life, and behind me is the next phase, what is beyond I do not know. I am the point where you make a choice about the past. Not the future, or level as you point it. A save point.”
“What am I saving?”
“Your life. Everything you did. The actions, reactions. All the interactions from your existence.”
“So if we are using this save point metaphor, does that mean I can replay? To redo my life and all that happened?”
“Yes.”
“Wait. Does that mean that life is just a computer game and none of it was real?”
“No.”
“I could travel the world again and see the bits I didn’t see?”
“Yes.”
“I could see my partner and children again?”
“Yes.”
“Wait, that could mean I could change how it happened, not have events happen and save them from the accident.”
“Yes.”
“So I could go back to that morning. Stop them getting the train. Keep them home and not have the phone call again.”
“James stop.”
“What do you mean stop. You just said I can redo parts of my life, make it better. I wouldn’t have to spend weeks just watching and waiting. The hospital. The doctors and nurses. This would mean I would never have to spend days talking about visiting hours. I wouldn’t have to go to the coffee machine hoping it was working after being told it would be fixed soon…”
“JAMES!”
“What?”
“You don’t get to pick a point in your life.”
“Why not, I thought you said it was like a game, I can respawn to do it again.”
“There is only one point where you can ‘respawn’. That is at the beginning. There is only one save point, so you restart it all.”
“Oh. The whole thing heh.”
“Yes.”
“But what happens if when I am young, I get hit by a bus?”
“Then your life ends there. The rules do not change.”
“Do I get to restart again?”
“No.”
“One time only deal is it?”
“Yes.”
…
…
“Who are those people over there?”
“They are those who never got to grow up, the ones who died too soon to reach a suitable save point. Here, they are older and get to pass ahead to that, level, you might say.”
“So. Why can’t they re-spawn somewhere they would get a chance?”
“Life is not built that way. You start where you start. That point is determined by those who started your life.”
“When I go back, will I remember all that happened and this conversation?”
“Partially.”
“Will, will she remember me?”
“No, if you ‘re-spawn’ then only you will have some memory of what happened.”
“… Has she re-spawned?”
“She being…?”
“My wife. Did she re-spawn or move on?”
“I do not understand.”
“Well, if I move on will she be there? Will I meet her if I go past you to level up.”
“I do not know what is there, but if you move on, you will save what you have completed and take it with you.”
…
…
“But if she goes back, and I go on, will she meet me there? Will a version of me be there?”
“James, you only have your own life to consider. What you did. Who you met. Why you did what you did. If you want to pass on, then you need to sign this pile, however, if you want to ‘respawn’, this one.”
James stood there, looking at the two pieces of paper. During his life he met the person who felt like a soul mate, started a family and looked to his future until a day that changed it all. His time with her felt short, but to retry might mean he doesn't meet her again at all. How long James stood there is difficult to count as time doesn't mean anything there. The thoughts went through his head. Both options.
But eventually, he picked up a pen.
“This one was inspired by an idea of wanting to have a piece based in conversation. I feel I failed to explore the emotional challenges that the main character was going through, and with each edit I made, it just felt protracted. I still like the concept, but couldn't write it down on paper.”
Steven Lister (he/him) is exploring the world of free time following the decision to leave teaching. He can now found living with his wife and dog in a village in North Somerset, UK, sharing his short stories via twitter (@lister_fiction) and those who will indulge him.