Let’s Watch The End of The World Through The Subway Windows by A.L. Davidson
The world leaned harsh to the left. It had become a familiar feeling, a sense of momentary weightlessness as motion took over. The city whipped by with a semi-chaotic speed. Turning the skyscrapers into blurred lines, they broke the fabric of reality with their dark facades. Everything was electrified, neon-soaked and glistening. It felt alive, thumping with the heartbeat of industry and technology. A mechanical heart, one that pumped humanity through it with a harsh flow.
Johann watched the buildings shimmer, the hues of a metropolis bursting to life as night arrived in full force. It looked like starlight as the subway train shot westward with a squeal. Fabricated, but glistening all the same.
It was cold in the carriage. The woven violet scarf around his neck accented the harsh red color brushed along his cheeks. He fixed a wayward strand of golden hair as he checked his slacked posture in the reflection of the beveled window in front of him. His knuckles were turning pale from gripping the handle above him so tightly. He was lost in thought, lost to the hypnotic draw of city life and all of the unknowns that came alongside it.
“What’cha listening to?”
Johann turned his eyes to the side in question. He pulled an earbud from his heavily pierced ear and cocked his head to the side.
“Pardon?” Johann asked.
“What’cha listening to?” the stranger repeated with a soft smile.
He was handsome, with tan skin and a cheery smile. His whiskey-colored eyes glistened behind the slightly smudged lenses of his glasses. The glass caught the twinkling lights of an LED billboard as they sped by. His curls of chestnut-hues laid this way and that, blown softly by the AC that pumped through vents.
“Just… music,” Johann replied nervously. “Sorry, is it too loud?”
“No, just… you seem engrossed,” the stranger tilted his eyes up to the far end of the subway car for a moment, “Engrossed enough not to realize you were being followed.”
Johann went to snap his head to the left to look but felt the tall man at his side grab his sleeve to halt his motion. The handsome individual smiled reassuringly and leaned down to meet Johann’s gaze.
“You’re not from around here, are you?” he asked.
“Is it that obvious?” Johann inquired.
“Well, you wandered onto a subway car - an empty subway car - by yourself late at night with your headphones on and didn’t realize that a strange man was following you. So… yes. I’m… not a strange man… or… I mean, I might be. I’m not the strange man, I just saw a potential problem and wanted to make sure you were okay. Sorry for spooking you.”
“I feel so stupid.”
“Hey, nothing happened. It’s alright, innocence looks good on you. Don’t lose that spark over something so silly.”
Johann felt heat rise in his cheeks. The stranger chuckled as he held onto the handle above and leaned back, he flicked back his jacket and showcased a police badge. As the speedy subway train came to a halt at the next stop, the black-clad man sitting at the far end of the car got up and quickly scurried out onto the landing platform.
“This is my stop…” Johann said worriedly.
“If you don’t have anywhere to be, I’d wait,” the stranger replied as he let his body swing, held up by a tight grip around the cold handle, “The Sky Rail is quick enough that you’ll be back ‘round this way in a half hour, tops. He did get on at the campus platform and this is the dorm stop so you probably don’t want him connecting those dots. It’d probably be safer but, you’re a grown man, so you can do what you please. If I were you… I’d get off at the next stop and join the guy who saved your life for some late night ramen.”
“You’re something else,” Johann noted.
“Yes, I am. Marcus Santiago.”
“Johann Strauss. Thank you. I’m not used to city life yet.”
Marcus chuckled. No kidding. It was so obvious that he was still growing accustomed to it, but he didn’t want the flustered man to feel embarrassed over it.
He threw his head back as the doors behind them closed and the subway sped off once again, watched the world dart by once again at the pull of motion overcame the carriage. Marcus spun his body and sat down on the bench. He looked over his shoulder and watched the towering city center behind him move with twisting motions.
The tightly clustered skyscrapers lit up with blistering lights of various colors. The spotlights from the nearby football stadium shot through the clouds. It was a bustling Friday, the metropolis he called home always seemed to be on the move, always lit up and swollen with the thump of treble and bass.
“It’s a beautiful city,” Johann noted.
“It is. How new are you?” Marcus inquired.
“I moved here a few weeks ago. I’m attending the university but… you knew that already.”
“Late night classes, huh?”
“So late.”
Johann chuckled. He finally turned to address the stranger with the soft smile. The scrolling advertisements above him moved with such speed and intensity he wondered if anyone had ever been able to read them as they were meant to be read. Everything moved so fast.
“This subway is insane,” Johann noted in an attempt to break up the silence, “Or… train? It’s not entirely underground… maybe that’s wrong. Still, it’s intense. We don’t have anything like this where I’m from. I keep getting lost.”
“Subway, monorail, train. It’s all interchangeable. But, yeah, the Sky Rail revolutionized transportation here but it is a bit messy cause of all the winding tracks and stops. We call it the Spaghetti Soup cause it’s a twisty mess, contained within the city walls like a big bowl. You can get to every corner of the city in the blink of an eye, though, and the views are something else. It’s still in good shape for being installed in ’48.”
“Everything here is so…”
“Shiny?”
“Yes. I’m from the country, I thought the flying car lane we had installed through my little town was the height of luxury but this… this is… something out of a sci-fi game. It’s…”
“Scary?”
Marcus patted the bench next to him. Johann took a timid step and tried to walk forward against the slight tilt of subway car as it careened across the high-sitting track that towered high above the roadways below. He sat down beside Marcus and clenched the edge of the bench with shaking hands. He nodded.
“Are you an officer?” Johann asked.
“What? Oh, no, I’m a part-time security guard,” Marcus said cheekily, “But he didn’t need to know that. I actually work at the campus, second shift, so I wrap up as the last classes end but I was a bit late getting off tonight cause my back-up was late. What’s your excuse?”
“I got lost. The campus is so big, it’s like a maze. I was a bit worried when I saw no one else was at the platform, I didn’t know if the subway ran this late.”
“The Sky Rail goes 24/7. Most places around here do. Like that… ramen shop I mentioned?” Marcus grinned and crossed his legs.
Johann smiled a bit and pulled his shoulders in taut. He felt behind. Embarrassed. As if this man at his side held a millennia of knowledge and he was but an infant, thrust into a chaotic life with no one to hold his hand. He was worried.
Marcus noticed and leaned forward to catch his gaze.
“Hey, don’t let this place scare you. It’s a lot, it’s a big city, but it’s just a place. There’s always a guide-bot on the corner if you get lost, all of the street signs are LED-powered so you can see them a long way off, and every road leads back to the Sky Rail, eventually,” Marcus assured with a confident tone.
Johann nodded. He felt a bit more at ease. The overwhelming, towering place behind him seemed impossible to conquer, to navigate. The tall walls that encompassed the pricy, busy city made him feel claustrophobic despite the intense size of it all. It was supposed to be safe, one of the few places in the midwest that offered opportunity and a future, but it was intimidating and reminded him of how tired and worn down the rest of the country was outside of those glistening walls.
He wondered if the move was worthwhile, if this new venture was too much for him. If he’d amount to anything. Somehow, after talking to this happy-go-lucky stranger, he felt as if the big city wasn’t as big as he initially thought. He felt a kinship and it excited him.
“So… this ramen place?” Johann inquired.
The subway slowed to a crawl as it pulled into a purple neon-lit station. Marcus shot up, slid his hands into his pockets, and nodded his head toward the door.
“Two blocks down the road. What do you say? Want to get some grub and watch the end of the world through the subway windows?” Marcus asked as he took a long step forward.
Johann stood and followed him, “Pardon?”
“It’s almost midnight, the end of the world is nigh, as they say. A new day is on the horizon and there’s something about experiencing the permanent death of a moment in time, in forward motion, that really gets my soul going. I can give you a first-hand tour of our metropolis from the safety of a subway car while we’re at it. Sound good?”
“Yes, I’m starved.”
The young men stepped out onto the platform and listened to the sound of the city breathing. The hum of electricity that flowed through the floor plates below and the lights above, the echo of elated chatter that rolled out through open windows and doors, and the heat that warbled off of the intense, ever present motion of bodies and technology, created a breathing ecosystem.
The city lived through the heartbeats of people and machinery.
The white, sparkling buildings and crystal clear windows that lined the street reflected the shifting colors of moving billboards and towering street lights. College students lingered on bar patios and businessmen screamed karaoke in small rooms that reeked of alcohol.
Marcus pulled back the curtain of the ramen shop. It was apparent to Johann he was a regular. The place was busy, the smells rich, the scenery was lively. They placed their orders and waited outside of the packed shop for their meals to be ready. Johann took in the beautifully chaotic choreography of a city so full of people it felt as if it was near to bursting. That one more soul would crack the foundation and send millions of bodies tumbling out like packing peanuts in an overpacked shipping box.
A large fleet of delivery vehicles whizzed by, sporting advertisements for upcoming concerts and massive sales filled with flashing, blinding smiles and beautiful people. Johann slid his hands into his pockets and watched a man draped in a flashy pink dress dancing freely, without a care in the world, atop a bench under a brilliant white streetlight. A few stray cats bounced their head alongside the motions as a young woman strummed a guitar, looking upward with curiosity in their wide eyes, hypnotized by the shifting of her orange fingernails plucking the strings.
“What are you majoring in?” Marcus inquired.
“Traditional art theory and history,” Johann replied.
“Ah, an oil and pencils man. You’re a rare breed in the age of AI and digital creations, Johann. I like O’Keeffe myself, her cityscapes of New York are stunning.”
“I haven’t seen those, I do enjoy her floral paintings, though.”
Marcus smiled, “I’m an architecture major so I tend to be drawn to those sorts of things. I like my buildings,” he noted as he took the bag of ramen from the shop employee who leaned out of the open doorway.
They swung by a vending machine row outside of the Sky Rail platform and grabbed some beverages, then waited for the subway to come back around again. Marcus pointed out a lake in the distance, explained that it sat in the midst of a park that was installed in 2052 to try and re-introduce greenery to the metropolis that began to suffocate the Earth with its progress. Said that it held amazing views of the sunset, reflected the orange and pink hues with such fervor they looked supernatural.
He pointed out a curved bridge that acted as a walking path, one that would take pedestrians to the heart of the entertainment district and was a great place to watch firework shows, which were a common occurrence after sporting events.
As they re-boarded an empty carriage and made themselves comfortable, Marcus explained that the next stop landed straight at the heart of the residential district, where expensive townhomes and luxury apartments lined the streets. Families played in the park and young couples built their lives together. He made his home there, too.
They opened their ramen containers and began eating as they circled the massive city. Marcus watched Johann intently with a smile on his face. The nervous-natured freshman seemed to be relaxing. His eyes remained locked on the city as he devoured his noodles. Marcus was glad his shift ended late, this once in a lifetime meeting held the essence of change that he was desperate for. Johann Strauss would change this city someday. Change him in turn. And he was excited.
“Did you come here for something specific, Johann Strauss?” Marcus inquired.
Johann pursed his lips in thought, “Hope.”
“In what way?”
“That I’d find out I’m normal… that I’m not weird. That someone out there can understand me, in a way that matters…”
Marcus cocked his head to the side. He watched Johann shift uncomfortably and adjust his jean jacket. The purple woven scarf shifted and, upon the collar, sat a small pin bearing a flag of blue, pink, and yellow tones. Johann pushed his curls back behind his ear and looked out across the landscape, cheeks flushed red and blue eyes shimmering. He was engrossed in the landscapes.
“I think you’re neat,” Marcus finally said as he went back to his dinner.
Johann smiled, genuinely, happily. That was enough.
As the Sky Rail continued to move onward, a small chime broke out through the soft silence. The lights flickered and turned off. Johann looked up at the ceiling with confusion, Marcus simply slurped his noodles and chomped down on some chicken.
“A power outage?” Johann inquired.
“It’s almost midnight,” Marcus replied, pointing to the window with his chopstick.
Johann turned his gaze to the city and watched as the lights began to flicker out across the many districts, draping everything in a cool, quiet hush.
“What’s happening?” Johann pressed further.
“The world is ending, weren’t you listening?” Marcus chided with a cheeky, playful grin.
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s the first of the month, it’s a… symbolic cleansing of sorts. The lights go out from midnight to about five in the morning on the first of every month. The world is ending, Johann. It’s burning up and overpopulated, it’s a chaotic mess and we’re suffocating it with industry and progress. Just because the government made these ‘safe-cities’ to try and offer hope and comfort, the world outside of our walls is in trouble. So, we remind ourselves that the Earth is bigger than this little bubble we live in by opening up the skies for a brief moment.”
Marcus laid his head against the window and looked up at the sky. As the city dimmed around them, the great universe exploded with starlight. Johann felt as if he were back home, back in the countryside. Back in his youth, sitting upon the roof of his small family farmhouse, watching the stars through a tiny telescope. Realizing how small, how insignificant it all felt.
Where sunsets would weave tapestries of unforgettable hues. Ones with colors that the abundance of neon-lights around him could only dream of achieving. A place of comfort and love. Somehow, as he sat in the darkness with this kind stranger as they sped by the now darkened metropolis, he felt that comfort, that warmth, and love. Somehow, this city no longer felt terrifying. It was merely a place, but it was one that he was excited to discover. He felt himself wanting to do so with this chipper would-be architect at his side.
“This is a lovely place to live out the apocalypse,” Johann joked.
“It’s my favorite thing to do. I savor the quiet, the solitude, and the hush of it all. The city is loud so this quiet is a nice reset. You’re welcome to join me next month… I’d… like it if you joined me next month,” Marcus offered.
“Waiting a month to meet again seems like a wasted opportunity…”
Marcus’ lips curled into a sheepish smile, “I get off when the last classes end,” he reminded.
“I’ll meet you on the platform, then.”
Marcus lifted his cup of ramen, “To the end of the world.”
Johann did the same, “And all of the days hereafter.”
“This piece encompasses everything that's painful and beautiful about the grind of sub calls and lit mags. It was written over the course of several days, with long sleepless nights, re-writes, edits, skipped meals and anxiety to get it done and tell the story as it was meant to be told, only for it to get shot down almost immediately. It's a lighthearted piece that became personally heavy due to the harsh whiplash of love and excitement turning into embarrassment and rejection. It became a reminder that my love for the craft, my characters, and my passion can be quickly gutted by a single "Unfortunately" that feels less authentic and more obligatory. And I want to reclaim it, despite its failure it's still beautiful and I want that pain to be replaced with kindness and pride, even if it's a bit undeserving.”
A.L. Davidson (she/they) is a writer who specializes in massive space operas and tiny disturbances. She writes stories about ghosts, grief, isolation, space exploration, eco-horror, queerness, and the human condition. They live with their cat Jukebox in Kansas City.